To accept charity or not

Last week I received a call from a woman who read one of my columns and asked “What do you need?”
At first I was thrown off-course. I did not know what to say because I never had a complete stranger come up to me to ask me that question.
Growing up with my grandmother, a lot of the Great Depression morals and mindsets were instilled in me. Do not waste food, unless it makes you want to throw up. Do not lend out money. And if you must borrow money or an object, pay it back as soon as possible.
After 25 years of living with this mindset, it is kind of hard to just say, “Sure, I’ll take your charity. Thanks a bunch.”
But I guess I have to remember a couple of things. First of all, we are no longer in the Great Depression. The mindsets of the 1920s and 1930s have been replaced with several wars and a stabilized economy.
The stubborn pride of hardworking men and women in that era has been replaced as well with the charitable and sometimes selfish mood of the modern era.
Also there are more charities today then there were in the Depression era, where usually only the well-off could afford to donate money.
Every day in this modern era, millions of dollars are donated to all sorts of charities, ranging from the huge organizations, like the American Red Cross, to bank accounts opened for people involved in an accident or who have a disease.
Also in this high-tech world, people feel like they know one another from MySpace profiles and Internet blogs. A person’s entire life can be found with just a couple clicks on the keyboard.
My editor told me right after I stopped working in March after I was diagnosed, lots of people asked if there was a bank account set up for me to help with the medical expenses. He said no and he felt it was not the right time to call and ask me if I wanted to set something up.
As my editor was telling me about this, another reporter asked a very poignant question: If an account is set up for you, will Medi-Cal drop you?
This question has been running in my mind ever since.
Medi-Cal already has certain rules: You must be younger than 21 years old or more than 65 years old to qualify. Though if you do have dependants, you can be between 21 and 65 years of age.
Because I did not qualify under any of these circumstances, Medi-Cal had to use my cancer as a disability. The only consequence is the process would take four to six months.
I have been told by one social worker that I can only have $3,000 total in my bank account, whereas another social worker said as long as the money is going toward living and medical expenses, I can have more than $3,000.
Talking this over with my fiancé, we agreed it would be best not to set up an account for people to donate. Because what if only $20,000 was raised and Medi-Cal said, “Oh, you have money. So we’re going to drop your file in the trash?” I would still need about $60,000 to pay the medical bills.
So I appreciate everyone who has offered to donate money to help me with my medical expenses and to even those who have offered to go shopping for me or who have asked if I need anything for my new house.
But I hope this article gives you a little insight into my dilemma and why I politely refuse any monetary or food gifts and only ask for your good wishes and prayers.